No 12985, Saturday 11 Jul 2020, Gridman

ACROSS
1   Reliable players at club (4-4) CAST-IRON {CAST}{IRON}
5   Uh, uh. SP ordered: “Quiet!” (4,2) HUSH UP {UH+UH+SP*}
9   Complaint is I sit back after record (9) ENTERITIS {ENTER}{I}{SIT<=}
11 Flying machine backs old dance (5) TANGO {GNAT<=}{O}
12 Union that may take place in goonda raj (7,8) SHOTGUN MARRIAGE (CD)
14 Hindi speech over good new Australian city (7) BOLOGNA {BOLO}{G}{N}{A} {BOL}{O}{G}{N}{A}  See comments
16 Strange women having bumpy ride (5) WEIRD {W}{RIDE*}
19 Fighter // dog (5) BOXER (DD)
21 Suffer below a green signal (7) UNDERGO {UNDER}{GO}
23 French produce fellow in exam — what do you say to the shooter? (9,6) CAMEMBERT CHEESE {CA{MEMBER}T }{CHEESE}

27 Has P.O. official stifling a joke (5) SPOOF (T)
28 The Spanish getting money from modern educational method (1-8) E-LEARNING {E-L}{EARNING}
29 Account after account on India’s top Ayurvedic tree (6) ACACIA {AC}{AC}{I}{Ayurvedic}

30 Banner: “Head of rebels aboard ship” (8) STREAMER {ST{Rebels}EAMER}

DOWN
1   Line to get credit with comfort (6) CREASE {CR}{EASE}
2   Two fights over principally private appliance with the TV (3-3,3) SET-TOP BOX {SET-TO}{Private}{BOX}
3   A rig ruler set up is abnormal (9) IRREGULAR {A+RIG+RULER*}
4   No son to yield frequently (5) OFTEN {sOFTEN}
6   Complete // mention (5) UTTER (DD)
7   Shrub in heart of Tamil Nadu city (5) HENNA {cHENNAi}
8   Goes // to get winnings (8) PROCEEDS (DD)
10 Reportedly look at child going in the direction of the main (7) SEAWARD {~SEE WARD}
13 Starts imitating classically elegant jewels (3) ICE (Acrostic)
15 Man eats some rice before cheese (7) GRUYERE {G{Rice}UY}{ERE}

16 Tireless labourer with alternative kosher outing (9) WORKHORSE {W}{OR}{KOSHER*}
17 I miss more varying quality of glucose and fructose (9) ISOMERISM {I+MISS+MORE*}
18 Co-ordinate with a graduate and investigators going over ship (8) ABSCISSA {A}{BS}{CI{SS}A}
20 Before headwear lost its edges (3) ERE {bEREt}
22 Book right under the shelf (6) LEDGER {LEDGE}{R}
24 A learner’s old mantra recanted to fetch money (5) MOOLA {{A}{L}{O}{OM}}<=
25 Greek character makes fit civil dress (5) MUFTI {MU}{FIT*}
26 Teetotaller carries small message (5) TWEET {T{WEE}T}

Reference List

Old=O, Over=O, Good=G, New=N, Australian=A, Women=W, Exam=CAT, The Spanish=El, Account=Ac, India=I, Ship=SS, Credit=Cr, Son=S, Before=Ere, With=W, Alternative=Or, Graduate=BS, Investigators=CIA, Right=R, Learner=L, Mantra=Om, Greek character=Mu, Teetotaller=TT

Colour/Font Scheme

Definition, Solution, Component letters, Embedded links, Theme word,  Anagram Indicator, C/C indicator, Reversal Indicator, Hidden word Indicator, Letter Pick indicator, Deletion Indicator, Homophone Indicator, Movement Indicator, Positional Indicator, Substitution, Indicator, Opposite indicator, Link/Connector, Extraneous

Dr RKE's TalePiece

Colored STREAMERs welcome guests to ‘TANGO’, the famed continental restaurant in a 5-star hotel in Mumbai. (For reasons of anonymity, the name of the hotel is withheld but suffice it to say that it faces SEAWARD). ‘Tango’ is famed for its CHEESE platter. Their CAMEMBERT and GRUYERE are sourced directly from France and Switzerland, air-lifted in ICE boxes and served fresh to connoisseurs. Apart from the chef’s WORKHORSE cheeses (such as Mozzarella and Parmesan), there are also cheeses with WEIRD names as Casu Marzu (which goes well with BOLOGNA), Milbenkase, Shepherd’s Hope or Sinking Bishop. The fancier the name, the higher the price and only men with the MOOLA can afford them. Each batch of cheese is made to UNDERGO rigorous quality testing ERE being served.  

So, it is to the UTTER surprise of the restaurant manager, Ms. Richa Bhatia, that there is a TWEET this morning from a disgruntled customer about how she developed ENTERITIS after eating the cheese from this hotel yesterday. The profile picture of the tweeter makes Richa recall the customer instantaneously as the woman had bright HENNAed hair. Richa is surprised that this woman’s Twitter handle already has 1.5 K followers.

Richa PROCEEDS to check the LEDGER in the pantry and finds several IRREGULARities in their quality check entries. She is reminded of the phrase “having more holes than Swiss cheese”! She brings it to the attention of the Chief Manager of the hotel. She is dismayed to find that the management is more intent to HUSH UP the affair than to find out what is wrong, as is OFTEN the case with the higher-ups. She has CAST IRON proof of the misdeeds of the pantry head but the management tells her to not step out of her CREASE. Being conscientious, Richa resigns in a huff and is now planning to take an E-LEARNING course on  “how to have your cheesecake and eat it too”.